Year D... and Year A?

I may think up a catchier title since I'm no longer calling it Tot School... but this will do for now. This is probably going to be a boring post to everyone except me. The short version is that I'm trying to keep things organized between my son and my daughter so that hopefully I can reuse some of my homeschooling ideas from him to her (I can hear you laughing, I know, I know, as my mom would say, "the best laid plans of mice and men..." but maybe there will be a little overlap? Let me have my moment of peaceful dreaming please.) I think best out loud and I this blog is mostly for my own record keeping anyway, so here goes.

Raccoon is doing preschool stuff and Ducky (her blog name used to be Robin but I'm changing it to fit more with her personality) is in baby school, which means chewing on things and creeping around at this point. Since Raccoon is going to preschool twice a week, I haven't done any lesson plans for him and we've just enjoyed things as they've come. A picture post will hopefully be coming soon. Our lives are currently utter chaos as we live in the middle of a messy remodel project, but I am hoping, praying, that life will return to something more ordered in December... maybe January.

Okay, so into the nitty gritty.

Here in Celosia, planned learning starts around one, so Year D is Raccoon's fourth year and I'm going to call what Ducky does "Baby School" until she graduates to "Tot School" next fall (although I may link up sooner if I feel like what she's doing matches up) and Raccoon will start Year E, which will roughly correspond to traditional kindergarten for him. She is already trying to copy what we do, at nine months old, grabbing a pen or paintbrush and trying to scribble on paper (she loves it when I grab the end of the pen so she can actually scribble with her fist on the lower part). So I'm guessing, I know it's far out, but that she's going to be ready for some kindergarten things the school year that she is 4-turning-5.

Raccoon's birthday falls nicely for his Year to correspond with the U.S. school year, but Ducky's birthday is at the beginning of the calendar year, so I have to decide if I'm going to do her Years by age or try to match them to a school year. I just need a system I can keep straight! I'm sure this is tediously boring to everyone else, but it's the kind of thing I love - making up peculiar systems.

                 Raccoon                     Ducky
Year A      1      2010*                  turning 1    2013             baby school
Year B       2     2011                    turning 2    2014             Tot School
Year C       3     2012                    turning 3    2015             Tot School
Year D       4     2013                    turning 4    2016             Preschool
Year E       5      2014                   turning 5    2017^            Kindergarten
Year F       6      2015
Year G      7       2016
Year H      8       2017^

*Each Year starts in September (or October if we do a soft start to school after summer projects)
^Next planned furlough to U.S., summer through Christmas perhaps

Okay, so that makes this Year A for Ducky, which is what I needed to figure out, or if not then I was thinking of doing a year of "baby school" for her before I called it anything else. Then she'll move into Year B in September, 2014, at 19 months until 27 months. The things I wrote down for my son's Year B were actually towards the end of his Year, so I think I'll be able to crossover some ideas and activities by that point. And if she's more of a I'd-like-to-do-free-play-on-my-own kind of girl, hallelujah! Ha ha. But I suspect she's going to want to "do school" like her brother. We'll see. (Hello future self, reading this post, how are things going for you? Drop me a note and let me know how close my guess was.)

I originally was going to start on my picture post of things we've done so far this Year, but I couldn't get past the title. Hopefully a little thinking ahead will serve me well later. How I love making plans... :)

Brainstorming for Fall 2013

Tonight I am attending my first parent orientation night for Raccoon. He will be going to preschool twice a week for three hours a day. But after this year, my husband and I feel like homeschooling is still the best choice for him. With this in mind, I want to begin figuring out what works for him and what helps him learn.

I LOVE this post about following the lead of the child. One of Celosia's rules is: If it's not working, stop. I haven't even started school with Raccoon and I already feel like my natural teaching inclinations are not going to work. I need a better plan. When Raccoon's hunger to learn is not satisfied, we are all miserable.

So, first, a list of what he likes with ideas of how I could make it school-y:

* taking pictures (he evaluates and chooses what he likes and wants to display, vocabulary, composition, lighting)
* physical activity (following directions through an obstacle course, a walk in the woods, scavenger hunt with labels)
* videos (educational clips, Netflix profile)
* being read to (books, magazines)
* likes freestyle crafts (cutting, gluing, glitter, tape, materials)
* imaginary play (write and perform skits, mini-movies)
* writing in the sand
* sensory play
* social / emotional role play
* field trips with learning pages

I also need to come up with new ways to use what we have. And keeping Robin involved but safe is going to be challenging as well.

Life as a Baby in Celosia

As with most things in the land of Celosia, I'm not talking about anything remotely "schoolish" for her. At the beginning, almost everything in life helps a baby learn. But I am a fan of enrichment, so what has Robin been up to?

In Glenn Doman's book, How Smart is Your Baby? (horrible title, good book, it is available at most libraries), there are different activities to do with your baby from birth onward. I like the initial red stage activities, I've pretty much skipped the orange stage with both of my kids, and now Robin is mostly ready for the yellow stage. Find some amazing checklists here to help you stay organized and for lots of other tips, visit DomanMom's blog.

I'm just going to jump in where we are right now. Disclaimer: I don't follow the program exactly, but it does help me to be mindful throughout the day about how I can play with Robin and what to include in her environment. So what does the yellow stage look like?

1) Touching lots of different and contrasting textures
2) Learning about objects (mostly fruit) through her five senses - taste, smell, texture, seeing the real thing, a picture of it, the written word, and hearing me say its name.
3) Seeing bits of intelligence every day (large, simple, clear pictures, one per 10 in x 10 in card)
4) Balance activities - tons of fun and both my kids have enjoyed these tremendously.

General ideas from the program I also like (paraphrased by me):

1) Keep baby in the least restrictive environment possible - sitting on my lap vs. sitting in a chair
2) Lots and lots of belly time - get the whole family on the floor with the baby often, or raise the baby up to your level (belly on bed and you on the floor so heads are level)
3) The main idea is purposeful interaction to help develop awareness, mobility, and language.
4) Let the baby move, move, move!

It can be very intimidating at first, but just pick something to add to your baby's life. You don't have to do the whole thing to be successful. Even if it just encourages you to talk to your baby more, look at books together, go on walks, etc, then you're doing a great job. With Raccoon I'd always feel guilty, like I wasn't doing enough, but even from the little I did he benefited. I'm not organized enough to be a full Doman mom, but the important thing is that we like what I do.

Coming out of the Doman Closet

I am a Doman mom. Arg, I just jumped out of the flashcard closet, let me back in, let me back in! Before the bashing begins, I have to say a few things in my defense. If you have no idea what I'm talking about... all the better for me. :)

1) Bits of intelligence are really quite a bit more than flashcards. It's more like the illustrations from a picture book. I think it's the "drill and kill" idea (which I've mentioned before here and here) that people object to, more than the actual material itself.

2) Raccoon LOVED doing bits with me, up until he was about 7 months old and crawling all over.

3) The whole program has a huge emphasis on mobility, which has always worked well in our family.

4) JOY. It's all about joyful learning. If it's not fun, stop it and do something different.

5) I also firmly believe that it works for some and doesn't for others, so the best thing for the child is to have a happy mother who enjoys being with her children (most of the time, ha ha). If it's stressing you out, then it's not a good thing in real life no matter how much it looks great on paper.

6) There seems to be a double standard out there. If your child is born with known special needs, then you are encouraged to do every type of available therapy to help them "catch up." But if they are born normal (as far as you know), then for some, any type of early learning is considered forced and bad. For me, the goal is to help my well children be as well as they can be.

 

Sample Bits of Intelligence

We're Back!

Little by little, Raccoon and I will be starting up some Tot School activities again. This morning we worked on the letter C from my mom's preschool alphabet book. It felt good to be active again. The last few weeks Raccoon has spent most of his play time dressing up in his various costumes.

 

Builder

 

 

I came across a bag of animal masks that my mom sent us awhile ago.

Raccoon enjoyed trying them all on and running to see himself in our living room mirror.

 

 

Knight and ninja are his all-time favorite costumes. He got some new knight armor for Christmas since the cardboard set I made him is wearing out from so much use. If anyone knows where I could get real metal armor made for a child, Raccoon would love it!

Robin's first dress-up with big brother - Spiderman and an elf. This smile for the camera is a huge success for Raccoon since he still often runs the other way.

Robin is three weeks old and doing her own early learning program (How Smart Is Your Baby: Develop and Nurture Your Newborn's Full Potential). Right now this consists of stimulating her different reflexes and a series of passive movements. She still spends more time asleep than awake (miracle of miracles!!!) so we're off to a slow start with her as well, which is just fine.

Early Exposure - Reading vs. Math

I overheard a dad saying that he thinks many kindergarteners arrive at school with little to no math exposure, even less than reading in some cases. In his opinion, it is because of this that most schools' math curriculum is very basic until 3rd grade, when differentiation and/or acceleration frequently starts. 

This really made me stop and think because it is true for Raccoon. I am more of a verbal than a mathy person, and this is definitely reflected in the activities that I choose for Tot School. Raccoon is growing up in a language-rich environment. He has just started to bring me things with words on them and ask me, "What does this say, Mama?" So I feel that reading will come naturally for him whenever he's ready. 

What would a math-rich environment look like? We cover the basics - counting, adding, subtraction, shapes, and patterns - but I have often wondered, what do mathy moms do and talk about with their children?

Kindergarten Readiness

Below is a copy of the World Book preschool list with Raccoon's incomplete tasks in red and my notes. I first saw the list mentioned here. The details are below, but they pretty much confirm what I already knew. The areas we need to work on the most are fine motor skills and social-emotional development (especially separation anxiety and interactions with others). I occasionally look at lists like this to see if there are any gaps we can gently work on, and to know where we are headed. But in the end, it's just a guide, and my son is an amazing gift, no matter what he can or cannot do.

Colors and Shapes

 * Copies shapes.

Numbers

 * Counts orally through 10. (can but likes to start at 5)
 * Counts objects in one-to-one correspondence. (can for 3 or 4, then goes out of order)

Reading Readiness

 * Pronounces own last name (gives it when prompted - not yet)
 * Tells the meaning of words heard in story (not sure, he does ask what unfamiliar words mean)
 * Identifies own first name in manuscript.
 * Prints own first name.

Time
 * Knows age and birthday.

Motor Skills

 * Is able to alternate feet walking down stairs (up yes, down not sure).
 * Is able to march (not sure but I think so)
 * Is able to stand on one foot for 5-10 seconds.
 * Able to button a garment.
 * Draws and colors beyond a simple scribble.
 * Controls pencil and crayon well.
 * Cuts simple shapes.
 * Handles scissors well.
 * Able to copy simple shapes.

Social-Emotional Development

* Can be away from parents or primary care givers for 2-3 hours without being upset (not sure, never tried)
 * Takes care of toilet needs independently (can, doesn't always choose to)
 * Is not afraid to go to school (not sure)
 * Knows full name.
 * Dresses self (can undress completely, putting shirt and socks on still hard)
 * Crosses residential street safely (not alone)
 * Asks to go to school.
 * Knows parents' names (first yes, last no)
 * Knows home address.
 * Knows home phone number.
 * Enters into casual conversation (at times)
 * Maintains self-control.
 * Gets along well with other children (at times)
 * Plays with other children (at times)
 * Recognizes authority (at times)
 * Shares with others (at times)
 * Talks easily.
 * Likes teachers.
 * Meets visitors without shyness.
* Able to stay on task.
 * Able to work independently.

I also found this list - 71 Things Your Child Needs to Know Before Kindergarten - and we still have quite a ways to go, but there is plenty of time. My "baby" is just 36 months old. :)

 

Flechitas

I started an education play group and today was our second meeting. It's been small both times, but since our space is limited, small is good. I call the group "Flechitas" (little arrows) because of Psalm 127:3-4. The women mostly come from impoverished homes, so the group has two goals: encourage one another through prayer and a mini-lesson each week on topics of interest. The format is simple, a welcome and prayer, free play based on that week's topic, a snack combined with story time, and then the moms pray in pairs. My goal is for it to last about an hour, but so far the moms haven't been very punctual, so we start and end late. I don't really mind though, I'm just glad they're coming!

Week 1 - the importance of reading to your children for 10 minutes a day. There is so much research out there that children from lower economic backgrounds enter school with only a handful of hours spent reading with their parents, whereas upper class children spend between 1,000 to 3,000 hours of reading with their parents before kindergarten. Basic literacy skills is a major flag for success or failure in school, and many people sent to prison are illiterate or school drop-outs.

Week 2 - we talked about the group's name, along with the role of imaginative play in developing creativity, vocabulary, and a positive parent/child bond. I brought two large cardboard boxes with cutout doors and windows, along with some plastic animals, foam animal masks, and a wooden Noah's ark. It was fun to see the mothers playing with their children.

Next week - gross and fine motor activities with balls and puzzles, and words of affirmation (from the 5 Love Languages).

If you have any ideas for a topic of interest or simple & fun mom/child activities, leave me a comment, I'd love to hear from you.

Ideas for this Week

Shaving cream and food coloring
Play-doh letters
Jars with colored water and glitter

More to come...

Hothousing

I know there is a lot of controversy around early learning. Most of the negativity seems to originate from the perspective that the parent is forcing the child to learn by withholding something necessary (love, affection, food) or the "drill and kill" idea. I found the term hothousing on a parent forum, where some of the parents shared that they felt like their insatiable, intense child was hothousing them!

I was reading a blog about a mom who did a full Glen Doman home program from birth (I think), only to find out when he was 9.5 months that her son (born premature) had a brain-injury. She wrote, "The good news is that T was a lot worse and the program we've been doing so far has brought him from severe to mild brain injury. Usually, when a child's behind in this category, he's also behind in this category. It wasn't that way for us, and she said the only way that happens is if parents have already been working on healing it." Good for them!

Personally, I think so much depends on the child's interests and the parent's motivation. Someone observing my house might wonder why I support early learning. For Raccoon and me, it's all about enjoyment and fun. My son is not nearly compliant enough to be forced!

Early Learning Schedule

I haven't really found a groove that works for us. But I take heart from the many homeschooling bloggers who mention that it took several years to get into the swing of things and to figure out their children's optimal learning styles. As I'm just at the beginning of our journey, I find this reassuring.

Below is my tentative schedule (more like suggestions really) for January 2012. I figure I'll try it out for a month, then tweek it as needed.

Sunday – plan Bible stories & verse for the week, evening church
Monday – home day, art/craft, music
Tuesday – home day, art/craft, language                              
Wednesday – playgroup, baking
Thursday – alternate special outings
Friday – family day
Saturday – home day, housework

In addition to the weekly activities, my monthly goal is one of each: museum, concert, field trip, and a visit to a family friend. Reading and math are always on my mind and I just casually (and briefly) work them into whatever we're doing.

Note to self: If I do end up homeschooling CM in a more formal way some day, I liked this idea for organizing assignments using a private blog."

Early Reading

A lot of the criticism around early learning is that the parents are drilling the kids to death. This quote by Dr. Richard Gentry pretty much sums up why I'm in favor, "But surprisingly, teaching babies and toddlers to read need only take little time—five or ten minutes a day along with routine story reading and book sharing. It’s really about brief lessons that are more like word games to the child, lessons that are fun to play with mom, dad or a care giver along with enjoying books together. All children should have these experiences as babies and toddlers. Experts who aren’t in favor of baby/toddler reading don’t get the concept. They usually think it’s forced, formal, or beyond the babies capacity to read. Of course, it isn’t."

Five minutes a day. I hope that some day all children will have access to early, quality stimulation for language, reading, math, and music.

A Little Bit of Learning

Raccoon is constantly absorbing new information, of course, but today we actually did some intentional learning. We watched some Readeez on YouTube and did our dinosaur and horse breed flashcards on the computer (at Raccoon's request). We both enjoyed it.

I've seen the idea mentioned on several preschool blogs, but I like the simplicity of this one (third picture down). Raccoon likes knowing the day of the week because we do different activities depending on the day.

Hiding

I think it's symbolic that this post was actually the third that I started to write (on 10/18), but has been hanging out in my drafts because I haven't known exactly what to say, or been bold enough to say it. Most people who know me have no idea. But think I want to change this. I'm not sure. I'll let you know if I ever decide to actually post this.

Somehow, hiding what I love to do has become a habit with me. Even here, if I write more than one post at a time, I wait and publish it on a different day so I do not seem too eager. Ever since I remember, I have loved to learn. In first grade, I got sick and was out of school for several days. I wanted to do the pages in my workbook that I'd missed, but my teacher told me, "It's fine, you don't need to make it up." That pretty much sums up school for me. I wanted more but was told I could do less since I already "got it." Or if I did get more in some form, I was supposed to figure things out on my own, like "Here's the math book, you can work ahead, maybe one or two of your classmates can figure it out with you."

As the years passed in school, eventually I just wanted to belong. By high school, I would only do my best if it was something totally private, like a test or an assignment only the teacher would see. Sometimes other students would "catch me" going way above and beyond what I needed to do and I would feel embarrased. I hated papers being read aloud "anonymously" in class and everyone trying to figure out who wrote it.

I love to learn. There. I'm out of the I'd-rather-learn-than-most-anything closet. I found another entry on another blog about being a Doman mom in hiding. Hopefully my nerdiness (and other things) can finally pay off for my son, and maybe other children, but often I am too shy or afraid of criticism to speak up.

This doesn't seem like much of a holiday post, but I finally feel ready to put it out there. Maybe.

Finding Your Tribe

The fact that I love doing early learning with Raccoon is not something I talk about much, so finding a community of like-minded mothers is an amazing feeling. I totally recommend creating an account at brillkids.com so you can join their forum. It is an amazing place for resources, ideas, links, and so much more. Being part of a community is so important and encouraging; it's been a long time since I've felt like I've belonged anywhere. So tonight, yeah for technology!

Time

When I started to read books on early learning, most of them mention the "window of opportunity," or some such thing, with various ages: 0-3, 0-6, even 0-1 before the brain starts pruning!! But on another blog (sorry I can't remember which one, I browse through so many and then the ideas simmer for awhile), the mom wrote something like, "If you take a month or even longer to get organized, your child can still have a wonderful and enriching life." This helps me when I start to feel pressured, like I have to do everything RIGHT NOW in order to take advantage of Raccoon's spongy years. This probably makes me seem like a psycho parent, I can just imagine the comments, "Stop pushing your child, let him just enjoy life." But that's not it at all, he's pushing me! If I don't have something stimulating to offer, he is not a happy camper.

But once again, I'm stepping back, breathing deeply, taking a look at where we're at, and trying to enjoy every minute. Now that I have the list of what's important to me, I plan to use this time to brainstorm about what I'd like his early learning program to include.

The "G" Word

It seems like there should be a different label for "gifted" kids, because that one seems to imply "more special or better" (based on the criticism it gets), which isn't the case. I think "talented" is even worse, since I believe that God has given each of us something unique to contribute to the world. Some children get called exceptional, but this could confusingly refer to either end of the learning spectrum. Although in some cases gifted children also have learning disabilities (therefore they are called twice exceptional - 2e). But I feel that gifted kids do need a label in order to access specialized educational services, just like kids with other labels who have different learning styles as well.

In my random blog surfing, I came across an author who wrote a book called "Emotional Intensity in Gifted Children." I don't know if Raccoon is gifted or not, but if I had to pick one word to describe him, it would definitely be INTENSE. My husband and I have used that word since he was a baby. We didn't want to be negative about our beloved son, but we also needed a way to describe our sleepless, demand for constant stimulation, fussy, no routine, and incredible child. My husband blamed our son's behavior on too much early stimulation, but I refused to believe that. I think it is something inherent in him that just makes everything he wants, needs, and does a BIG deal. The rest of the book's title is, "Helping Kid's Cope with Explosive Feelings," and that fits too. Frustration, rage, aggressiveness, a strong-will... I feel like we've seen it all. His emotions seemed off the charts for one so small and we hit the "terrible twos" around one year old. Although I've only read the first few pages, I hope to read the whole book soon.

For some reason I was thinking about all of this as I lay in bed the other night, waiting for Raccoon to fall asleep. It would be nice if there was a label that wasn't so controversial, so that one could talk about a child possibly being "______" without the negative reactions, just like one might discuss autism or diabetes. I thought of calling them "alternate learners" (too vague), "accelerated learners" (also seems to imply superiority), intense learners, and I can't remember the other ideas, but none worked. This is probably why the name "gifted" has stuck; no one has been able to come up with a better alternative.

My Motivation

Since I had done a lot of reading before Raccoon was born, I felt like there was so much more that I should be doing to enrich Raccoon's crucial early years. I imagined other mothers being able to do these amazing programs with their children that I could not, due to trouble with nursing and sleeping, colic, several major moves, and other upheavals during Raccoon's first two years. I did the best that I could, incorporating as many things from the Doman books as possible. But as he grew and became increasingly mobile, almost everything that we were doing, and enjoying up to that point, stopped working. I got stressed trying to find new ways to make things work, and then it wasn't fun anymore for Raccoon or for me. I took a break for awhile from intentional early stimulation, and I stepped back to examine why I was so frustrated that things weren't working. So what if we didn't do any structured learning? One of the common criticisms of early learning is that the parents are forcing the children. I wondered, if I was really honest, did I have any hidden motivation or agenda?

In the end, I realized that my motives were a mixture of good and bad, like most things in life. Mostly, I wanted to share with Raccoon my love of learning. But if I was truly honest with myself, there was also some need to validate my capabilities as a mother by his achievements. "See, Raccoon can do this, so I'm not a total failure." After realizing this, I prayed a lot about whether I should continue or not. After a time, I felt peace about it and I set some new goals.

My new focus in every area is exposure and enjoyment, not mastery or performance. I don't need to know how much he knows, test him, or try to catch it on camera. Glen Doman says that the child will show the parent in time, and Maria Montessori said something like, "You don't dig up the seed to see if the plant is growing." As long as Raccoon and I are having fun, and the information that I provide is clear and of the highest quality that I can do in a reasonable amount of time, I am content. My focus is also on being more intentional about enriching the time that we spend together and to create more mutual respect in my relationship with Raccoon. (Love is already there and flourishing.) My ultimate hope and prayer is that if he learns that I listen to and respect him now while he's little, he'll still come to me and trust me to respect him when he's not so little anymore.